Man Doesn't Want His Girlfriend to Ask Him for Anything or Talk to Him at All After Work

He doesn't want to make small talk or be requested to do chores after work...and he works six days every week.

If you do not want your girlfriend to talk to you or engage with you or ask you questions after you come house from work, and also you work six days a week, possibly you just don't want a girlfriend. The man in this "Am I the A-hole?" put up wrote that all he wants is endless peace and quiet when he gets home. 

Unfortunately, although, that's not how relationships work. You can't have a partnership that moves precisely at the velocity of your personal whims. There's at all times some compromise involved. Not to point out, you will have to most certainly revel in spending at least a while together with your vital other.

OP writes that he and his girlfriend had been in combination for four years. They are each citizens, however he works out of the home, and he or she works from house in psychiatry. He's been working 12+ hour days, which is the life of a health care provider, and he has been getting more and more stressed from having a relationship on most sensible of that.

But that's not precisely how he put it. OP wrote, "I'm tired from working 12+ hour days and coming home to conversation about unimportant stuff like what interesting patient she had or what decoration we should get for the table. On top of that, she'll ask me to help take the trash out or load the dishwasher, tasks I would normally be OK doing but I'm just so tired nowadays."

So he doesn't want to talk to her about her day, their residing area, or some other household tasks that want to get finished. What does he want to talk to her about? Turns out...nothing. All he in reality needs to do is "fall asleep in front of the TV."

He argues that the household duties are cut up evenly as a result of although she does all the cooking, laundry, and cleaning, he is helping out with giant projects like development furnishings or shifting heavy issues. Anyone who has finished family chores knows that those (day-to-day! weekly! constant!) tasks don't evaluate to taking a couple of hours to put together an IKEA shelf.

He claims that he actually is so drained that he shouldn't be anticipated to elevate on a easy dialog. "In order to stave off more arguments and whining from her," he wrote, "I suggested we make a rule that beyond a few minutes of conversation over dinner, she is not allowed to carry out long protracted conversations with me about non-urgent stuff and she is not allowed to ask me to do anything non-urgent as well, like take out the trash or do the dishes."

He doesn't want a girlfriend. He desires a maid. And Reddit commenters instructed him as much. "YTA," one person wrote. "May I ask why you have a girlfriend? You loathe being spoken to by her. Being asked to take out the trash sends you into a rage. 

"Your each sentence drips with contempt for her. Is there any reason to suppose you wouldn't be much happier coming house to an empty condo? I'm sure you appreciate her performing as your housekeeper, but you need to more than likely afford to usher in a cleansing service. Let this poor woman move in finding somebody who's keen to have a conversation together with her."

OP responds that he doesn't hate talking to her; he loves it when he's "well-rested and now not crushed down via work." But when is that? Sundays?! Because that's no way to live. He also says conversation is fine "if she has one thing authentic to talk about but usually she's simply carrying on a conversation for the sake of speaking."

Oh my dude. She is not talking for talking's sake. She's talking to strengthen your connection, to have genuine human interaction (which is scant these days), and to share her life with the person she loves. All things anyone in a relationship should find essential. 

It's understandable to occasionally be too tired to talk or hang out after work. But it cannot be an everyday thing. What kind of quality of life is that for OP's partner? 

Another commenter wrote, "You are mainly telling her, 'We are in a relationship, however please behave like a Roomba around me. You can blank and be silent otherwise.' This is not a dating. Both companions have to work for that. If you might be too exhausted for this, you've gotten to do something about that. Either take steps to work much less or take a look at ask yourself in case you are burnt out and want help."

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